What Can Your Wishes Tell You About What You Want?

I've wondered: is a wish just a want that one presumes is out of reach?

Example: I wish I had millions of dollars. I don’t presently have millions of dollars, and I don’t perceive how I might acquire millions immediately. In wishing this, it feels like the energy behind my wish boils down to resigned futility.

Ew.

Or, is a wish an invitation to dig deeper into a want?

Why do I wish to have a million dollars?

To do things without worrying about financial constraints: make art, decorate my home, donate to charities, support family, friends, causes.

I wish I had limitless money to enable myself and others to feel bold in our aspirations:

• Want to make that movie? Don’t let money stop you. 
• Want to build and maintain a no-kill animal shelter and outreach programs? Lack of money will not be in your way. 
• Want to build that custom motorcycle? Here’s the dough. Do it.
• Want to set up a conservation easement for that parcel? This will cover the legal fees. Pursue it.

I guess I equate a million dollars with no limits and no excuses. One can’t give in to fear of trying or fear of failure because money is not a factor either way.

As I sit here, I realize I don’t need one million dollars to face MY fears and excuses (in fact, the group of us are pretty tight day in and day out). Wishing for limitless funds is my way of wishing to bypass my hangups. Ha!

Does that mean that I secretly believe that growing beyond my hangups is ultimately out of reach? No, I don't accept that. Some of my internal conflict has been cyclical throughout my life, but I HAVE grown out of other hangups.

I've come to see a wish as a signal of a feeling I want. The wish I described above conveys "limitless" to me.

It made me realize I want to feel limitless in my creativity, to inspire others to tap into their own aspirations, and in connecting to others through stories and art.

O ho! My wishes clue me in to a direction to explore. Next I'll identify and choose steps I want to take to explore that direction.

Armed with this realization, I can choose to act on these wants and identify goals that bring me in alignment with those desired feelings. 

• I shall express myself in multiple mediums.
• I shall inspire others to identify, value, and express their unique gifts.
• I shall foster connection among others through stories and art.

And, if millions of dollars come with any of those, I’m cool with that.

Your Environment's Role In Your Life

I want to talk to you today about the storytelling concept of Setting - the environment your Hero-self exists in.

Setting saturates a story with mood, meaning, and thematic connotations. Broadly defined, setting includes the region, geography, climate, neighborhood, buildings, and interiors related to a story. It also suggests passage of time (source: Courtney Carpenter, Writers Digest).

I had an A Ha! Moment this week about how my Setting affects me, and it came as a ‘D’oh!’ (said in my best Homer Simpson imitation).

I’ve been feeling really shitty lately. Despite all my awareness and efforts to live in balance with my depression and its Best Friend, Anxiety, I’ve been having a couple crappy days. Days of feeling lost, panicky, and finally, on the edge of hopeless. Restless nights of heavy, looping thoughts that will NOT stop, even when I mentally run through all the words I can think of that start with the letter M. Then S. Then… you get the idea.

When these “storm fronts” roll in, I hate it. It’s like being dropped back into a pit that I’ve spent so many years teaching myself how to climb out of and avoid.

So, I made myself meet up with a dear neighborhood friend to take a walk outside and get out of my head. During our trek over icy sidewalks and through steep snow-banks, she asked me if I had Seasonal Affective Disorder.  

No. No, I don’t think so… I love living where there are four seasons.

Wait. It’s almost February. February has been hard for me before… ‘D’Oh!’

Over the many chapters of my life, I’ve never registered a strong connection between seasons and my equilibrium. I don’t know enough about SAD to claim it for myself, but my current “storm front” coincides with a similar bout two winters ago. Hm.

What does all this have to do with Setting?

Authors know that Setting reflects and helps shape their Hero’s story. The Hero’s environment can amplify her emotional state and her struggle, as well as her competencies and accomplishments.

Ever hear someone say, ‘She’s in her element?’ or, “She’s running with a bad crowd?”

A Ha! Winter, apparently, is not a great season for my Hero to feel totally “in her element.”

Duly noted.

Wearing my Author hat, I recognize that I have choices I can make about the environment my Hero is experiencing. For me, personally, that doesn’t mean I plan to move away from the Great North. But, with an awareness that deep Winter seems to throw my Hero into a depressive tizzy, I can seek and find ways to lessen the impact.

How about you? Is there an aspect of your Setting that’s knocking your Hero down for the count?

What changes can your Author-Self make to your life story's Setting?

Take a moment to consider your physical environment, work environment, circles of friends or colleagues. Your commute, your locale? Even your ancestral influences (In our family/culture, X has always been done this way…)?

Can you move? Change neighborhoods? Surround your Hero more with beauty, or supporting friends, or a better work environment? What about exploring ways to bolster or buffer your Hero’s experience within a Setting (like me, with deep Winter)? More ideas: play with feng shui in your personal spaces, disengage from negative peers, break up your routine...

Me, I’m going to look out for mood-boosting opportunities to take photos outside - go on a treasure hunt for beauty during cold, grey days. And, if and when I feel too shitty to do this, I’m gonna be patient and kind with myself, because the Author in me knows the “storm front” will pass.

Transitions, Patterns, & Mean Bus Drivers

Staircase image by @mel_iiii via Twenty20

The word, TRANSITION, might make you brace for being drop-kicked into an unfamiliar situation with the stresses that accompany a pivot event like that.

On the other hand, a transition can come about from a long-brewing pattern that needs resolution for you to ease into a better gear to keep moving forward.

The last couple years, I've been viewing my life as an epic story, to get insight and perspective about my path and purpose. While doing so, I've been slowly piecing together a pattern that's lurked through decades of my life, and it's prompting a personal transition.

When I first conceived an About Sentence for my life as a story, the Hero Description I embraced for it was Compulsive Creative: Lorie is a story about a Compulsive Creative... That description totally fit me in the present, as well as over a loooong time. It felt authentic, because everything IS a creative expression for me.

But, with that description as a baseline, I began getting another layer of insight about my Hero Description. Yes, I'm Creative, definitely. But, the secret is, deep down... I feel I am an Artist.

Creative. Artist. What's the big diff?

'I am an Artist' is a HUGE assertion for me, filled with trepidation. The reason why starts with a story about a mean driver on my elementary schoolbus...

Soulful Action and Your About Sentence: A Case Study with Entrepreneur Tracy David

As a long-time sales trainer, then almost a decade as a Success Coach with thousands of clients, how in the world did entrepreneur Tracy David come to be the CEO of an online women's retail product startup called LittleAcornShave.co? I was keen to learn whether Tracy saw this as a Whoa! pivot, or an organic step of transition along her path. In discussing her background and reviewing her About Sentence together, I got an inspiring answer! Check out the video by clicking on the image. It's 22 minutes long.