“Gardeners, I think, dream bigger dreams than emperors.” Mary Cantwell
What Are Your Supporting Characters Showing You About Your Hero Self?
In storytelling, Supporting Characters reflect potential mirrors of the Hero, or challenging aspects of what s/he wants, or the limitations/triumphs of potential outcomes. The point is, they serve a purpose to advance the Hero's story. They do the same thing in Real Life. In this 9-minute video, I use "Star Wars" to explain what I mean.
Let's talk about Aunt Edna. You love her, of course, but the woman gets on your last nerve. The thing is, she's always there when you go to your mom's house, so avoiding her completely isn't on the table. You think she's a bit of a bully, and she seems to know exactly how to get under your skin. What is UP with that??
Guess what? You have something in common with Luke Skywalker. Seriously.
The main character in the first Star Wars trilogy is surrounded by Supporting Characters, and so are you.
A Supporting Character is somebody who affects the Hero's story in some way. It may be someone with whom the Hero interacts often or merely an acquaintance. But, their presence, brief or long-term, molds the Hero's story directly. The purpose of Supporting Characters is to deepen our understanding of the Hero and often, the Hero's understanding of himself. They reflect how the Hero might evolve, deal with obstacles, or they may demonstrate aspects of what s/he wants.
Consider, Luke Skywalker.
Luke is a restless young man, desperate to BE SOMEBODY, to prove himself away from his desert planet home. As his story unfolds, he meets Princess Leia, Han Solo, and Yoda. Each of these Supporting Characters represents elements of Luke's possible path forward.
+ Princess Leia is charismatic, powerful, and focused on a Great Cause, the Resistance, to triumph over the dominion of the Empire. Her wants and motivations serve the common good.
+ Han Solo is a mercenary. He's motivated solely (at first) by self-interest. He's charismatic, clever, and good at what he does; but, he's fundamentally selfish.
+ Then there's Yoda, the Jedi master. Yoda is the character who represents the fullness of what Luke might become: masterful, powerful, and wise.
Each of these characters informs Luke's growth from impulsive, impatient young man to a wiser, more sober novice Jedi knight. Of course, Luke doesn't identify any of these people as Supporting Characters, but the Author of this story, George Lucas, would. The clincher is that you happen to be both Hero AND Author of your story.
“Look at folks in your life as Supporting Characters. Who might be a reflection of your wants, your weaknesses, or your desired outcomes? What can you learn from them? ”
Who might be your Wise Friend/Mentor like Yoda? It might not be who you think. Your Yoda might be that teacher, trainer, boss, barista, postal worker, fellow transit-rider who always seems to bring out the best in you, even if they challenge you often.
About those folks who "push your buttons," is their presence supporting your growth in the long run? Does interacting with them challenge you to resolve poor patterns, accept responsibility, or forgive and let go of "old stories?"
If not, remember you are the Author; consider removing them from your story. Or, "rewrite" them as Background Players. Ha!
Your life is your story; as the Author of it, what you can change about your relationships with your Supporting Characters is how you choose to engage with them in Hero mode.
May the Force be with you. :)
Empower Your Self-Talk With "High Vibe" Words
Wants and needs, frustrations and worries: we all have running thoughts (little stories) about all of these each and every day. In this 17-minute video with Soulful Storyteller, Carrie Severson, she explains what "high vibe" words are and how to re-frame our little stories for empowerment and flow.
Carrie Severson
I'm delighted to introduce the Soulful Storyteller, Carrie Severson!
Carrie works with people who want to share their stories as public speakers. As a bonus for the clients and students in my private Facebook group, I hosted Carrie via video chat last month to learn how to use her concept of "high vibe" words to empower our stories about our lives.
Click the image to view the 17-minute video.
Pillars of Storytelling for Personal Growth
After reading hundreds of screenplays, I can tell you five categories - pillars of storytelling - that readers look for in every story, no matter its format. What are they, and what do they have to do with personal growth? I'm glad you ask...
Hello, hello. In this 5-minute video, I share with you how I've come to know the 5 pillars of storytelling, and how I came to view them as guideposts for evaluating my own life story.
Why Aren't You Getting What You Want?
You've figured out something you truly want, and you've set your intention to bring it to fruition. So, why is it now that every Not-That-Something is popping up to resist your Want?
You've figured out something you truly want. It took self-awareness and focus to clarify it, and you've set your intention to bring this Want to fruition. So, why is it now that every Not-That-Something is popping up to resist your Want?
Because, it's part of the story! Conflict is the engine that propels forth the Hero, and he is changed by experiencing a full spectrum of his Want, including its opposite.
I believe the same holds true for us all in our daily lives. We have our Wants, and we learn more about them and ourselves as we clear obstacles to them.
But, most of us don't expect to slam into an internal wall of Resistance.
CASE STUDY
I've been wrestling with my own resistance as I've been creating the content for my online course. My story has two combatants: the Task Master and the Lizard Brain. The Task Master (TM) is my "should monster." It's that voice in my head that constantly plans, tracks, and critiques every moment. The Lizard Brain (LB) is focused on primal survival and quelling emotional crises.
“The lizard brain is the reason you're afraid, the reason you don't do all the art you can, the reason you don't ship when you can. The lizard brain is the source of the resistance.” ~ Seth Godin
Since I'm creating something new, I don't have a clear path to follow. Every step forward is in faith that there's actually something solid enough to land on. When there isn't, I must step back and try another footfall elsewhere.
This creation process is triggering my "fight or flight" Lizard Brain, big time.
"Where will this step take me? Why didn't we stay in our familiar, safe cave? I'm hungry. I gotta pee. This path is hard; I hate it. Stop now." ~ Lizard Brain
The Task Master is very impatient with all this reactive boo hoo hoo.
LB panics, "MUST SHUT DOWN. Never can think straight in the early a.m. ESCAPE stress of cloudy thoughts. CLOSE EYES."
TM retorts, “You’re gonna waste the morning again!”
“I’ll be able to think clearly once I wake back up.”
"No, no, no. You've got work to do! Get out of the house!"
"Just 20 minutes. Okay, 45 minutes," says LB.
"LOSER. Go ahead and give up. You suck." harangues the TM.
When I get back up, I do think more clearly; but, my TM is vexed with my "weakness" and how my LB sacrificed time that could've been spent doing something "productive." This recrimination colors the rest of my day, and sometimes even triggers LB again.
The question is, what is my story about this resistance? Is it that my Lizard Brain and Task Master are at war, that I am weak to give in to my Lizard Brain like I have, or something else?
Does one story shed a clearer light on where I need to grow than the others?
I like the definition of resistance for exercise: a form of training in which you're working against some type of force that "resists" your movement to build muscle strength, endurance, and size. Think, weights, water exercise, using those giant rubber bands and so on.
As in Resistance Training, I want to choose a story about my resistance that enables me to strengthen my resolve and stamina to bring my Want to fruition.
If I stick with the story that I am weak to give in to my Lizard Brain, then I'm choosing a story that keeps me failing myself. Instead, if I realize that my LB and TM are feeding off each other in a warring circle, I can take action on this story and mediate a truce!
The kicker is, to truly build my endurance and strength, I know I'll have to keep "lifting those weights" of my resistance periodically.
Even though I can fantasize that I've mastered my resistance with one insightful effort, and now my Want will magically be freely attainable -- that hasn't been my experience in my life so far. What I'm saying is, choose a story about YOUR resistance that enables you to take action on it, but don't think you're "doing it wrong" as you repeatedly encounter it. You're building your strength and stamina. It's all good.
Evidently, I need "resistance training" with quieting the fears in myself. Between the anxiety my Task Master brings to the table and the depressive, shut-down reactions my Lizard Brain bring, I have a balancing act to keep improving!
So, what's your story about what's pushing back at you?